The Woll

20th August

The Hirsel déja vu?

Weather: Morning overcast with some sunny breaks, but afternoon dampish air and a wee bit rain.

Winners: A.M. David L; P.M. Ross; Day: David L.

This was an interesting day.

Perhaps the first thing worthy of mention is the relatively low turnout for what is an excellent outing venue.  One aspect of this paucity was the failure of any one of our SS division (Southern Softies) to make it, in spite of the venue’s proximity to the border.  That having been said, the dozen who did turn up, including Collin’s cousin’s husband, Ross, enjoyed a day of excellent and friendly catering while playing a short but tricky course.  Ross’s attendance was rewarded by the granting of his national handicap for this outing and this contributed to his fine victory in the afternoon.  Also notable return to the podium for DL.

There were, however, two regrettable occurrences.  The first was that our organiser,Kenny, had to retire hurt with a bad back early in the back nine in the afternoon.

The second was the departure of Bob who had to get home swiftly for the sake of domestic harmony.  This, of course, was regrettable in itself, but the reason he had to go when he did was on account of the drunken, foul-mouthed and slow crowd in front of us, six ball and all.  A great pity and the reason for the strap line.

Two near fatalities are probably also worth a mention - KC on JM and JM (who obviously learned nothing from the first incident) on CW.  JM is seen below by the sign that both would be homicides failed to look at/take heed off in the morning!

Burgess

2nd July

Weather: Started cool and grey, then came away to a beautiful warm day and ended a bit cool and spitting

Adler Tag

Winners: A.M. Tom; P.M.  Psycho; Day: Psycho

Where to start?  Maybe with something none of the Freens were aware of on the day.  According to the pro, one of his assistants came into the shop in a slightly agitated state and said, “I think we might have a problem, Steven.  It looks like some [undesirables] (not wrong there, but the word actually used is probably best left out of a website!) have set up a camp in the overflow car park.”  Seriously.  Little did he know that it was just our very own Messiah (a.k.a. Jock) holding court with his twelve disciples and dispensing wise and pithy sayings.  “Pass the punnet” was a particular favourite.  Fine food provided by many Freens and Lord Theakston was again remarkable for his munificence.  Mention of whom I think requires we put on record that he has attained the distinction of being the first Freen to have officially acquired a carer!

Without doubt in relative terms, and very possibly in absolute ones, the cheapest Freens’ outing ever at a Rate of £15 for the day’s golf.

And DP had an eagle.  Fortunately the Kay amendment did not need to be invoked.

Is it surprising the assistant pro thought what he did?

He claims his waterproofs had leaked!?

Read in the reeds - not again, Juggy!

Total contentment in the pieshop

(From our Rapporteur)

Pissing rain when I left the house which got steadily worse the further I drove west. Thick fog on the outskirts of Balerno would have ruled golf out but pressed on to Carnwath where it was still pissing down, but with the added extra of a stiff breeze.

We gathered in the clubhouse and took bets on whether Barney would appear but to his credit and everyone‘s astonishment he did.

Much delight amongst the assembled Freens when it was discovered that breakfast consisted of not one but two bacon or Lorne sausage rolls.

Course proved demanding due to the inclemency of the weather and several were tempted by the beckoning sight of the clubhouse at the ninth green although all persisted and played to the 18th.

5th green is the closest point to Carstairs maximum security state mental hospital. Some Freens reported hearing an inmate shouting from the window of his cell “ And they say I’m nuts!”

Lunchtime back at the clubhouse and it didn’t take long for all present to declare the afternoon round a non starter and the club kindly offered a “ rain check” to return at a later date for round 2.

Soup, sandwiches, liquid refreshment were taken and then we all departed with several Freens visiting the local and renowned pie shop where the usual Friday takings were given a welcome boost. (This being the pieshop discovered by DL on one of his cycling expeditions  the details of which were passed on while he and Psycho sampled the Mediterranean (comparatively) delights of Raasay.)

Drove home through the still pissing rain and spent an hour emptying out the golf bag of its saturated contents.

Just another typical day’s golf in Bonnie Scotland!

Breaking News! - It’s understood that the Freens’ Poet Laureate is to be the defender in a Breach of Promise action raised by the lady in the pieshop.

Runce and homunculus?

Story of the day

Weather: A tad damp

Winner: A.M. and Day: Collin

Carnwath

21st May

Pieshop heaven

1. The fact that we were there at last for the first outing of the year.

2. Fine fare for lunch provided by Freens, with particular mention going to Collin’s provision of generous quantities of Theakston’s Light Foot and Best Bitter and Psycho’s fine Passimiento, both of which played a part in the afternoon’s performances.

3.Chance meeting at lunch with fallow Freen, Stuart Renton.

1. The afternoon flight of the girls after 9 holes and a little dampness.  Jock, JM (on his 2nd buggy ride of the day) and DL (lonely and miserable) - is this the proper Freens’ spirit?

2. Some disapproving looks from locals in car park as Freens convened for lunch, with social distancing requirements appearing a little strained.

3. Bob attempting to implement his own Spaces for People policy by inhibiting traffic movement in the car park with his caddy car.

Lowlights

Highlights

7th May

Weather: Started bright and a bit breezy followed by brief spell of light rain after lunch then lovely again.

Winner: A.M.: Jock, P.M.: Smithy & DP, Day: Smithy

The Flight of the Girls!

Goswick

2021

The Irvine G.C.

24th September

JP saw it through this time!

Weather: Not overly bright, but not a bad day; and mild.

Winner: Johnny Gill - on last 6

Due to webmaster’s state of weakness and fatigue the entry here definitely requires augmentation from those who were more cognisant of the day’s events - I’m waiting…..

Dundonald Links

25th September

“Git oot o’ ma hoose!”

Weather: Very decent day with sunny spells

Winner:  Bob W.

The picture was taken by the starter who, when he spotted Barney surreptitiously sniffing around his hut, uttered the memorable phrase shown above.  Highlight of the day really had nothing to do with the Freens at all.  It was meeting, and then allowing to play through, an 18 year old girl from Stirling University with a handicap of +4.

Only one missing from this group picture at the 1st tee……now, who is it who lives on his own planet??

Rowallan Castle

Beautiful castles; shame about the course

26th September

Weather: Breezy, but a good day for golf

Winner:  Bob W.

A low point (or merely a marker?) in Freens’ history.  Having set forth, fairly optimistically, from the yellow (6,200) yard tees there was a reversion after the 3rd hole to the red tees at a somewhat less demanding 5,500 yards.  In which connection it ought to be noted that the scores given were not audited, as they perhaps should have been, given an apparent confusion amongst Freens between the Red Tee stroke index for men and the same coloured index for ladies!

The course was designed by Colin Montgomerie, but the betting is that he hasn’t walked it terribly often.  Allegedly he said “When I saw the land I fell in love with it….”  Perhaps he should have left it at that.  The adoption of the head of a hielan’ coo as the badge is not for no reason.

Some were enjoying themselves at this stage

Scenes ten minutes after the girls left!!

Renton being interviewed.

Leo, what were you thinking?

Collin getting nearest the pin, prior to his birdie attempt

Collin after his (failed) birdie attempt

A fine body of men?

Back to Home Page

Dunbar

27th October

There was a guest, John Taylor, playing today, and clearly he behaved as all well brought up guests should, by just edging past DL to finish last.

Weather: Dunno.  Wasn’t there and nobody has said, but looked OK.

Winner: CW

Why???

And if you are feeling inclined to watch an instructional video on pitching, please just click here, (but be warned, it’s not for anyone with poor nerves!)